{"id":4812,"date":"2016-11-25T13:37:47","date_gmt":"2016-11-25T20:37:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/?p=4812"},"modified":"2016-11-25T13:37:47","modified_gmt":"2016-11-25T20:37:47","slug":"40-years-saved-stupid-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/","title":{"rendered":"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Mitzi,

Mitzi, Denise, Tara, Aida in junior high, 1972<\/p><\/div>\n

The six of us peered into each other\u2019s eyes, trying in short seconds to excavate the girls we\u2019d known when we were sixteen from the fifty-six year old faces staring back at us. Then we flung ourselves into hugs. Wonder and words and laughter and very old trust sparklered across my Arizona lawn.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d found our safe place during adolescence on the sands of Stuart, Florida, and in each other.<\/p>\n

On this balmy February 5, 2015, we bunched on the grass after landing in Phoenix from St. Louis, Atlanta, Hayden, Idaho; Greenville, South Carolina; and Punta Gorda, Florida, together for the first time since tenth grade.<\/p>\n

For a year I\u2019ve sat in the sanctuary of my office and mined a story a week from my murky memory. I painted scenes, picked perfect verbs, imparted emotional truth. I didn\u2019t picture the three-month Facebook free-for-all that woke slumbering relationships along with recollections.<\/p>\n

\"Mitzi,

Mitzi, Denise, Tara, Aida, 2015<\/p><\/div>\n

My two-and-a-half years in Stuart started at the tail end of fourteen as I fled my father\u2019s strictures and flew under Mom\u2019s radar.<\/p>\n

Mom navigated her nursing career, new marriage, and my nine-year-old brother\u2019s undiagnosed dyslexia.<\/p>\n

These girls and a couple others kept my stupid\u2014jumping off bridges, stealing candy, and inhaling a substance Bill Clinton couldn\u2019t\u2014to a minimum.<\/p>\n

But in the melee of life\u2014moving to new towns, matriculating, marriage, motherhood\u2014I lost these crucial friends and they lost each other.<\/p>\n

\"Aida,

Aida, 2015<\/p><\/div>\n

I wasn\u2019t the only one who had found safety in our Stuart sisterhood. Denise Domansky\u2019s family had bailed Delray Beach before we met because she\u2019d gotten beaten up for being white. Mitzi had slept in Vietnam to bombs rattling in her bedroom windows. Family members of Aida\u2019s schoolmates in Colombia had been abducted. Tara\u2019s mother had survived the beheading of her first husband. For Carolyn, overrun with brothers and missing her dad who captained big boats in the Merchant Marines, our sorority meant solace and fun.<\/p>\n

\"Denise,

Denise, Mike, Aida<\/p><\/div>\n

Aida brought a red notebook stuffed with our junior high notes\u2014some with snippets of her old bickering with Denise we\u2019d almost forgotten. Now, we guffawed over the notes we\u2019d signed\u00a0 with numbers instead of names in case they were intercepted. \u00a0Aida out-remembered us all with stories and details we knew were true the minute she spoke. Denise\u2019s brother, Mike, younger by seven years, drove from Vegas to see Denise and collect a hug\u2014forty years late\u2014from Aida, his boyhood crush.<\/p>\n

This weekend, Denise finally got the slumber party at my house she\u2019d missed all those years ago in Florida because she had to babysit. She called the trip her out-of-the-box weekend and hiked a mountain, tasted Thai and vegan fare,<\/p>\n

\"Me

Me & Denise<\/p><\/div>\n

and let Carolyn commandeer her into 10,000 steps a day. Always our champion of doing the right thing, Denise segued this skill into parenting. Her dread-locked son, contemplating a step off the straight and narrow, slammed home after curfew one night, still innocent, because he\u2019d heard Denise\u2019s voice in his head.<\/p>\n

\"Mitzi,

Mitzi, 2015<\/p><\/div>\n

Mitzi\u2014the loveable Jesus freak of our youth\u2014was another voice guiding our choices. She said we were the ones\u2014none of us then particularly religious\u2014who stuck by her when others called her too Jesus-y.<\/p>\n

I credit Mitzi\u2019s tenth grade prayers for pointing me to the faith that backboned my adult life.<\/p>\n

Mitzi wished we didn\u2019t remember every crazy thing she did back then, like bringing home ex-con Frank Costantino<\/a>, whom she met on a criminology field trip, to spend the night with her family. Mitzi also accompanied the former mob member-turned-Christian to Raiford Prison where she told inmates how their letters affected high school students.<\/p>\n

Mitzi sent for college info from every Christian college in the country, determining to attend whichever university sent a packet, containing yellow paper, on October twelfth. When no mail arrived that day the girls tried their best not to rib her. Mitzi later landed at Oral Roberts University\u2014via old fashioned prayer.<\/p>\n

\"Carolyn

Carolyn & Me<\/p><\/div>\n

Carolyn, our voice of reason\u2014then and now\u2014coached Mitzi, Tara, and I in marketing our businesses. She cajoled us into playing Head\u2019s Up on her phone and yelling seventies trivia at the top of our voices. She, along with Mitzi, played driver and helped me grill each girl about our disconnected years. She\u2019d known\u2014when I didn\u2019t\u2014that we \u201cgot\u201d each other as teens because we\u2019d both been divvied an extra helping of angst. And as adults, our affinity hangs on.<\/p>\n

\"Tara,

Tara, 2015<\/p><\/div>\n

Giddy over escaping winter and too much work, Tara propelled us through the weekend with more words than we\u2019d ever heard her utter. Tara grew up to be a psychotherapist, among other careers. She lay awake in bed on the nights before the reunion thinking up a game of questions. She snagged us with Bananagrams, then got us talking about virginity and regrets and boys we loved.<\/p>\n

We continued to peel back the years while we hiked Sedona\u2019s red rock, the ridge over Canyon Lake, and the marshes of the Riparian Reserve.<\/p>\n

We discovered we\u2019re monogamous, most of us making it with only one man. We\u2019re moms who muscled our way to matriarch by going to college, carving careers. Like the rest of humanity, we earned maturity by the things we muddled through. One of us lost a long string of years to the control of a cult. Another was widowed at twenty-three. One took decades to dig the bliss from wedded bliss. One visited her child and her dreams in jail.<\/p>\n

Before the weekend wound down, we comforted a daughter who landed in ER, did damage control when a demented parent detonated a family crisis, and welcomed a son who boomeranged home with a broken heart.<\/p>\n

\"Me,

Me, Carolyn, Mitzi, Tara, Denise<\/p><\/div>\n

We\u2019re Protestant, Catholic, Universalist, and free thinkers. We lean left and right. Today our relationships, like our food, tend toward healthy. And somehow we learned to give back. Mitzi supports an orphanage. Carolyn gives money to the homeless because \u201cFive dollars means more to them than to me. If they feel they need to spend it on liquor, that’s their call.” Denise contributes to her church. Tara and I mentor\/mother younger women. Aida and her mom have humanitarian goals for their house in Peru.<\/p>\n

We talk about getting together again, but we don\u2019t know if life will short-circuit our good intentions. We don\u2019t know whether we can sustain friendships flung across the country. We don\u2019t know what this weekend will mean in the scope of our lives.<\/p>\n

But we fell in love with each other all over again. We discovered the brief time we shared as kids counted. And we\u2019re glad we took this chance to remember and say thank you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[Today, Aida works with English as a Second Language elementary students in Punta Gorda, Floirda. Tara owns a women\u2019s consignment store in Hayden, Idaho. Denise is head of accounting in a large intellectual property law firm in Greenville, South Carolina. Mitzi\u00a0owns Bali Sterling Silver, headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri. Carolyn does interactive website development and interactive marketing in Atlanta I am a novelist and memoirist in Phoenix.]<\/p>\n

\"Tara,

Tara, Aida, Me, Denise, Carolyn, Mitzi in 2015<\/p><\/div>\n

Other blogs about Stuart, Florida:<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Boys are the Balm<\/a><\/p>\n

Kickball, Kicked in the Pants, and Kicking Back<\/a><\/p>\n

A Bus, a Boy, and a Bestie<\/a><\/p>\n

Bridge Jumping and Junk Pile Regrets<\/a><\/p>\n

Freedom Doesn’t Come for Free<\/a><\/p>\n

The Wheels of the Swim Team Bus Go Round and Round<\/a><\/p>\n

Fresca, the County Fair, and the Truth<\/a><\/p>\n

Mary Jane, the Catholic Church, and Me<\/a><\/p>\n

Swimming In Dad’s World-Class DNA<\/a><\/p>\n

A Village, a Vamp, and a Muddied Soul<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The six of us peered into each other\u2019s eyes, trying in short seconds to excavate the girls we\u2019d known when we were sixteen from the fifty-six year old faces staring back at us. Then we flung ourselves into hugs. Wonder and words and laughter and very old trust sparklered across my Arizona lawn. We\u2019d found […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2947,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[2,66,325],"tags":[132,608,193,622,621],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The six of us peered into each other\u2019s eyes, trying in short seconds to excavate the girls we\u2019d known when we were sixteen from the fifty-six year old faces staring back at us. Then we flung ourselves into hugs. Wonder and words and laughter and very old trust sparklered across my Arizona lawn. We\u2019d found […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ann Lee Miller\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1419\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2289\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ann Lee Miller\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ann Lee Miller\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/\",\"name\":\"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0c6315623cc1435f5aee5a884e61776e\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1\",\"width\":1419,\"height\":2289,\"caption\":\"Back: Mitzi, Denise, Aida, Carolyn. Front: Tara, Ann\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/\",\"name\":\"Ann Lee Miller\",\"description\":\"Author, Speaker, & Blogger Extraordinaire\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0c6315623cc1435f5aee5a884e61776e\",\"name\":\"Ann Lee Miller\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/author\/peabody11\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller","og_description":"The six of us peered into each other\u2019s eyes, trying in short seconds to excavate the girls we\u2019d known when we were sixteen from the fifty-six year old faces staring back at us. Then we flung ourselves into hugs. Wonder and words and laughter and very old trust sparklered across my Arizona lawn. We\u2019d found […]","og_url":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/","og_site_name":"Ann Lee Miller","article_published_time":"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1419,"height":2289,"url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Ann Lee Miller","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ann Lee Miller","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/","url":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/","name":"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid - Ann Lee Miller","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1","datePublished":"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00","dateModified":"2016-11-25T20:37:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0c6315623cc1435f5aee5a884e61776e"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1","contentUrl":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1","width":1419,"height":2289,"caption":"Back: Mitzi, Denise, Aida, Carolyn. Front: Tara, Ann"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/2016\/11\/40-years-saved-stupid-2\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"40 Years After They Saved Me From Stupid"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/","name":"Ann Lee Miller","description":"Author, Speaker, & Blogger Extraordinaire","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/#\/schema\/person\/0c6315623cc1435f5aee5a884e61776e","name":"Ann Lee Miller","sameAs":["https:\/\/annleemiller.com"],"url":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/author\/peabody11\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annleemiller.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Photo-Feb-07-12-44-07-PM.jpg?fit=1419%2C2289&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Hftl-1fC","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4812"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4812"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4812\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2947"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annleemiller.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}